Take this quiver and deliver. Do you prefer Bulfinches Mythology or LARPing, Live Action Role Playing?
Tired of social distancing and battling a bout of cabin fever are you? Time to dress up and get into character
Wherefore art thou Rapunzel? Fun can be found in an A&W rootbeer float, my Baskin& Robbins’ 31 flavor friends
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Buried in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin Prison system I yearn for hot toddies and streaming apple pie a la mode.
Grey foxes and Cougars: you are cordially invited to attend court in my absence and exchange missives of parchment while engaging in an ice cream social.
Without a choice ladder to traverse down these cobbled stone walls my double entendre are 2 scoops of a chocolate fudge sundae afternoon carriage trip through a blizzard to Dairy Queen.
Entrapped behind these castle heights vicariously I imagine you bareback on our throne in the throws of passion with another or stymied in a diabetic coma-like Sleeping Beauty from overindulgently reading via poison apple my Haagen Daz cherry stained message through Merlin The Magicians’ Alchemy rose thorn tinted laptop or the Wizard of Oz petite pint sized mobile.
Respondez sil vous plait.
While they have their “Hot Girls’ Night Out!” Concubines that are my Neapolitan treats of choco-o-taco Africans, vanilla bean European and Strawberry blush Asians!
Mount your sceptre side saddle and air deliver yourselves as if The Good Witch Glenda. Tasty like ambrosia come pay homage to me your French Burger King.
Like Culver’s malts! It’s a mixer! So everybody into the moat!
Sir Lancelot; with no LGBTQ rainbow snowcones chances of jousting on horizon. Heterosexual Knights, King of Leons fruit-infused squires or Ben and Jerry prison reform flavored connoisseurs’ are encouraged to take off their suits of armor and make a splash landing, before a night of mooning, at the Dragons’ Darts and Farts Monty Python Pub.
After a relaxing mud bath with your mates send this espearean creative writing frozen custard barista escargot mall.
Circumnavigating the globe like coronavirus these words are a grand opportunity to like, share, retweet and resend reaching billions — going viral but let’s find a vaccine for the COVID-19.
So, regardless of how you soft serve it while facing gauntlet of pandemic while socially isolated or distancing. In a spotted banana split or Tiffany crystal dish. My mall call doesn’t discriminate.
From Virtual Reality to Real World.
Twist your wrist as’ Lady Godiva late night nude in the privacy of your own chalet scouring the internet for tantalizing conversation and companionship.
Send me tasteful emails, tasteful computer downloads or sincerest of romantic interlude on golden stationary leaf.
The occasional trolls and mischiefs of mayhem that reveal themselves as catfish shall remain banished from The Realm until they repent for their sins against the LARPing Gods.
My love; To avoid The Dungeon Masters confiscation policy. No Knives, files in cake or mace hidden in orifice.
Kindly lick sticky confection residue off of your manicured nails prior to stuffing envelope with your pearls of wisdom.
If you are mulatto! I am gelato!
Imprisoned in the tower.
Vanquished King James Terry
As straight as Cupids’ Arrow.
Scripture: Take flight.
Disclaimer: The views in this article are those of the author. The Prison Journalism Project has verified the writer’s identity and basic facts such as the names of institutions mentioned. The work is lightly edited but has not been otherwise fact-checked.