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Some nights I wake up in cold sweats
Filled with regret
Thinkin’ bout the family I left

I chose crime over life
Crime over mine
Acting with no mind
No sense
Been 20 years since
That fateful day
When I almost took your life away

I’m glad you lived
It’s kinda like I died

Cause livin in a cage isn’t life
Back then I thought I was right

And now I’m in a cell tryin to move one
But I can’t…

Some nights I wake up in cold sweats
Filled with regret
Thinkin bout the family I left

At times my sentence is too much to carry
How do I survive while I’m alive and buried
Dying in a cell isn’t legendary
Youngsters out there if you can hear me
There’s no glory in crime or the criminal life
I sleep alone in a steel bed with a toilet by its side
And each day I have to figure how to live
While sentenced to die

Some nights I wake up in cold sweats
Filled with regret
Thinkin bout the family I left

I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Back to when I was free
And my baby was alive

I wish I never would of fired those shots
I’m sorry I hurt you
My positive choices are all I got to give you
My Soul cried when you forgave me… Did you?

Some nights I wake up in cold sweats

Disclaimer: The views in this article are those of the author. Prison Journalism Project has verified the writer’s identity and basic facts such as the names of institutions mentioned.

Jessie Milo is a writer, artist and poet incarcerated in California. He is a volunteer for InitiateJustice.org and an advocate for mental health.