“I sentence Mr. Moreno to 29-years-to-life in prison,” said Judge Cheri Pham. 

Growing up, I was always told I was stupid and not worth anything. My dad was no father, he was an alcoholic. As a kid, he repeatedly belittled me. I tried speaking up to my mom, but I remember she’d just excuse his behavior as “being drunk.” 

This form of manipulation led to trust issues, so I isolated myself and used drugs and alcohol. It’s unfortunate that I caved to my dad’s comments and allowed myself to think I was worthless. Now, as a 26-year-old at California’s Salinas Valley State Prison, I wish I could tell my younger self that I didn’t have to make my dad’s problems my own. Once I realized this, I became motivated to rise above my father’s hatred and become a better person.

Prison has tested that goal. Since I’ve been here, it becomes more apparent that prison is structured for you to fail rather than succeed. Since I arrived, I’ve been asking for help only to be neglected by counselors, correctional officers and other incarcerated people. 

Despite prison obstacles, I’m still improving myself. To do that, I had to rid myself of the hate and anger that resides within me. My ways were so wrong. I was weak. I made mistakes. 

However, I believe that if we have the courage to face our own issues. We can change. My mistakes do not define me nor will I let them. Ridding myself of these resentful feelings, I can move forward and treat everyone I come across equally, with compassion and love.

While growing up, I volunteered for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. I tried to be a good role model. I failed because I hadn’t yet confronted my demons. Now, as I take a step back, I realize how selfish, insensitive, irresponsible and immature I was. 

I am now willing to confront my own issues so that I can help others. In the future, I plan to advocate for those kids who were also deemed “failures” for no reason and give them the chance to show people that they are not. No one is a failure in my book.

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How I Rose Above My Father’s Hatred

by Christian Moreno, Prison Journalism Project
June 18, 2022

<h1>How I Rose Above My Father’s Hatred</h1> <p class="byline">by Christian Moreno, Prison Journalism Project <br />June 18, 2022</p> <p>“I sentence Mr. Moreno to 29-years-to-life in prison,” said Judge Cheri Pham.&nbsp;</p> <p>Growing up, I was always told I was stupid and not worth anything. My dad was no father, he was an alcoholic. As a kid, he repeatedly belittled me. I tried speaking up to my mom, but I remember she’d just excuse his behavior as “being drunk.”&nbsp;</p> <p>This form of manipulation led to trust issues, so I isolated myself and used drugs and alcohol. It’s unfortunate that I caved to my dad’s comments and allowed myself to think I was worthless. Now, as a 26-year-old at California’s Salinas Valley State Prison, I wish I could tell my younger self that I didn’t have to make my dad’s problems my own. Once I realized this, I became motivated to rise above my father’s hatred and become a better person.</p> <p>Prison has tested that goal. Since I’ve been here, it becomes more apparent that prison is structured for you to fail rather than succeed. Since I arrived, I’ve been asking for help only to be neglected by counselors, correctional officers and other incarcerated people.&nbsp;</p> <p>Despite prison obstacles, I’m still improving myself. To do that, I had to rid myself of the hate and anger that resides within me. My ways were so wrong. I was weak. I made mistakes.&nbsp;</p> <p>However, I believe that if we have the courage to face our own issues. We can change. My mistakes do not define me nor will I let them. Ridding myself of these resentful feelings, I can move forward and treat everyone I come across equally, with compassion and love.</p> <p>While growing up, I volunteered for the Boys &amp; Girls Clubs of America. I tried to be a good role model. I failed because I hadn’t yet confronted my demons. Now, as I take a step back, I realize how selfish, insensitive, irresponsible and immature I was.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am now willing to confront my own issues so that I can help others. In the future, I plan to advocate for those kids who were also deemed “failures” for no reason and give them the chance to show people that they are not. No one is a failure in my book.</p> <p>This <a target="_blank" href="https://prisonjournalismproject.org/2022/06/18/how-i-rose-above-my-fathers-hatred/">article</a> first appeared on <a target="_blank" href="https://prisonjournalismproject.org">Prison Journalism Project</a> and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.<img src="https://i0.wp.com/prisonjournalismproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/cropped-PJP-favicon-2.png?fit=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1" style="width:1em;height:1em;margin-left:10px;"><img id="republication-tracker-tool-source" src="https://prisonjournalismproject.org/?republication-pixel=true&post=19325&ga=" style="width:1px;height:1px;"></p>

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