It’s not easy to form romantic relationships inside prison or continue them with lovers on the outside.
Prisons employ strict rules around physical touch, partnerships and other forms of closeness.
But in spite of these challenges, people still seek and foster intimacy behind bars. In fact, many PJP writers have found that falling in love is meaningful, even if it’s short lived and ends in heartbreak.
For Valentine’s Day this year, PJP has curated a collection of six stories about love behind bars — and love that transcends prison walls.
“Tackling a Huge Taboo: Sexual Desire Behind Bars” by Tariq MaQbool: “As an unmarried prisoner for the past 19 years, I can tell you that we all struggle with a deprivation that feels like castration. I can also tell you that being lonely and sexually frustrated can lead to feelings of hopelessness, depression and even violence. Families of the incarcerated also suffer.”
“My 14th Christmas in Prison” by Mithrellas Curtis: “Before an officer entered the area, one or more people would say, ‘Uh oh!’ in unison, giving you time to step out of the room. We all pitched in whenever we were in the dayroom, so we didn’t worry about getting caught where we weren’t supposed to be. Usually that meant I spent a lot of time in Lisa’s room. But on this day, she banned me as she prepared for our date that night.”
“Finding Love in Prison Is Possible, if Not Easy” by Chastyn “Nova” Hicks: “Gemini and I lived in separate buildings at our prison. When we met, tensions were rising among inmates over intensifying COVID-19 restrictions. Gemini and I also felt dating pressures. But soon a release valve opened, and not in a good way.”
“It’s So Hard to Maintain Relationships in Prison” by Patrick Lanzel: “I’ll never forget that moment. It’s one of many rejections I’ve experienced living as a convict in a New Jersey prison. While incarcerated, it has often felt like I shouldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable with others, but I still do.”
“I’ve Changed Behind Bars, But I’m Not Promised a Second Chance” by Asherdon “The Artist Ra” Holloway: “Left without those opportunities, I am stuck in prison. Raquel remains one of the few people outside of prison who sees the good in me. For now, we’ll have to keep our flame burning, separated by bars, living in alternate worlds.”
“My Heart Is Wrapped in Concertina Wire” by K.C. Johnson: “Just a few weeks earlier, in the North Carolina prison where we both resided, I had told her I loved her. She was about to be released, but I had four years remaining on my sentence. She had said she would wait for me, and that she loved me too. I had ached for true love, and she had promised to give me a shot at it.”