In prison, almost every part of your life is dictated by someone else. But taking control of your appearance is one way people inside can reclaim some control.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Between restrictive policies and high costs for hygiene goods, many people inside can’t present themselves how they’d like to. This can contribute to, or even stem from, mental health problems.
As one Prison Journalism Project contributor wrote about his poor self-image before he felt empowered to start taking care of himself: “Then there was me: a cheap, lumpy chocolate pudding, walking with my head down, obsessing about my worsening skin and how my body jiggled with each step. I hated that. I hated myself.”
In an environment that requires conformity and disavows autonomy and individuality, people still want to look and feel good.
The extent to which people can show off their personality varies depending on the security level of a prison and its restrictions. But, if possible, applying cosmetics, shaving one’s face or cutting one’s hair, and ironing clothes and styling them in unique ways can make a big difference to people behind bars.
Here, PJP highlights five stories that show the transformative power of caring for, and being yourself, in prison.
“The Unexpected Power of Shaving in Prison” by Mithrellas Curtis: “The thick, dark hair carpeting my legs was soft. It provided, or at least I liked to tell myself it provided, an additional layer of warmth against the chilly, climate-controlled air blasting from the ceiling. But it itched and made me feel far from feminine. I was overjoyed at the prospect of being smooth and hairless again.”
“How I Regained My Self-Esteem in Prison” by Kashawn Taylor: “Such a small effort — braiding my hair — gave me a major confidence boost. People thought I looked good, and, eventually, I actually did. I walked with my back a little straighter and my head held higher.
“In a Prison of Conformity, This Is How We Display Our Individuality” by Lexie Handlang: “Prison strips you of any sense of individuality. Take a look in a cell and you will find gray bunk beds, gray footlockers, gray end tables, gray walls.”
“Boxer Shorts Blues: My Path to Gender-Affirming Underwear in Prison” by K.C. Johnson: “While I don’t consider myself a man, I also don’t feel like a woman. Yet most places, especially my North Carolina prison, want clearly delineated identifications. It is not enough to say, ‘I am nonbinary; I would prefer men’s boxers.’”
“In Prison, the Meaning of a Haircut” by Jeffery Shockley: “Some try to hold onto that something that sets them apart, that makes them different, if only in some minute sense. My hair became that thing. Call it a safety blanket.”
