Over the past 22 years of incarceration, I have come up with a variety of meals to satisfy my ravenous hunger when the served meals just don’t do it — a regular occurrence here at Western Correctional Institution in Cumberland, Maryland. 

My favorite dish by far is the stir-fry. 

A stir-fry is a feast of a meal that is adaptable and can be enjoyed for breakfast, lunch or dinner. You can use any protein, such as fish, chicken or beef. This recipe calls for fish. 

While most of the items can be purchased from the commissary, the dish can be enhanced with some items from the prison kitchen, though they aren’t always easy to obtain. 

Incarcerated kitchen staff supplement their meager incomes (a dietary worker here makes $1.05 per day), with a side hustle selling exclusive items they steal from the kitchen. It’s a risky hustle — anyone caught could lose their job for a few months — but the money is worth it for many. I usually give a bro who I deal with a few stamps in exchange for particular items, like onion, green pepper and sugar. If you can’t get these, substitutes from the commissary work too. 

CHILI FISH STIR-FRY

• 2 packs ramen noodles
• 1 teaspoon butter (optional)
• ½ cup instant brown or white rice 
• 1 4.23-ounce pouch Fresh Catch chunk light tuna
• 1 3.53-ounce pouch Fresh Catch tuna with jalapeños
• 1 3.53-ounce package Fresh Catch fish steak 
• ½ ramen seasoning packet (about ½ teaspoon)
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder 
• ¼ of a fresh onion, or substitute 1 2-ounce package sliced jalapeño peppers
• ½ of a fresh green pepper, or substitute 1 dill or hot pickle 
• 1 2-ounce package cheddar cheese spread 
• 1 3-ounce packet barbecue sauce 
• 1 2-ounce packet honey 
• 1 11.25-ounce package Brushy Creek chili with beans, regular or hot
• 2 teaspoons sugar 

Crush the ramen noodles as finely as possible into a microwaveable bowl. Fill the bowl with water, then immediately drain all the water. 

Heat the noodles in a microwave for 6 minutes on high. Every minute and a half or so, add a touch of water and stir the noodles. You can also add seasoned salt to taste, as well as a little butter to help the noodles fry, if you wish. 

While the noodles are cooking, fill a small cup with the rice and hot water. Let the cup sit covered. 

Now it’s time to prepare the fish. In another bowl, add the two tuna pouches and the fish steak. Using a plastic knife, chop all three together finely; you can also leave it chunky if you want to taste the fish more. Add the ramen seasoning and garlic powder. Dice the onion and green pepper (or pickle and jalapeño) and stir into the fish.

Remove the bowl of noodles from the microwave; the noodles should have a soft texture and golden color. Add the fish and the soaked rice and stir together. Place the fry bowl back in the microwave for another 2 minutes. 

While the bowl heats, pour half of the cheese spread (about 1 ounce), barbecue sauce and honey into a small cup. In a separate small bowl, mix together the chili, sugar and the rest of the cheese. Remove the fry bowl from the microwave and heat the cups of sauce mixtures for 2 minutes.

Once everything is hot, stir the barbecue sauce mixture into the fry bowl. Top the bowl with the sweet chili sauce and voila, a deluxe bowl of delicious chili fish stir-fry.