When I wake in the morning, I look forward to the day. That is, until I hear the officer shout, “Mess out!”
Calling a meal “mess” does not make it appetizing. It’s one way the system makes me feel worthless. We’re humans; we deserve more than a “mess.”
Prison reminds me of a pawn shop. When you go into a pawn shop, you have an idea of an item’s value, or what you’d like it to be worth. Then the pawn broker tells you that it’s worth much less than what you want for it. Pawn brokers are predatory. They try to suck out every penny of profit.
In carceral settings, whether it be policy, language, treatment or general demeanor, much of it is designed to devalue us.
In 1999, I killed someone during the commission of a robbery. I have regretted my actions since the day the tragedy happened. I have devalued myself for a long time and have been trying my hardest to restore some kind of luster to my life ever since. I believe I have found a path through education and journalism, but it is tough because the prison system is simultaneously trying to knock me down.
There are so many amazing people in prison. I’ve met artists, poets, writers, singers and geniuses. They’re very caring people. I’m honored to know them.
Isaiah Pascal is a talented artist who was going to art school before prison. He is writing his own memoir. Bryan Hawthorne is one of the most brilliant people I know; he lives and breathes education. There are so many others.
We have resilience. We are people, even when we are treated otherwise by being locked in our cells for more than 14 hours straight. We laugh. We cry. We joke. We care about each other. We are not raging animals. We are not emotionless. We have value. We have potential. And many of us have accomplishments.
Paul Boyd won a Truman Scholarship, while Duane Horne was a finalist. Together, Boyd and Horne created and established a reentry program called the Cornerstone Alliance.
Ibrahim Rivera was accepted by Columbia University, but forced to turn down a scholarship because of the current political climate.
Many others benefit from Rutgers University’s New Jersey Scholarship and Transformative Education in Prisons program, called NJ-STEP, which provides college courses inside prisons. When they exit prison, they break the mold.
Alum Tia Ryans was appointed by the governor to the New Jersey Department of Corrections board of trustees. Fellow alum Ronald Pierce is a member of the leadership team at the state DOC ombudspersons office. These are positions you rarely hear formerly incarcerated people getting.
Countless others have founded their own reentry programs since their release.
Prison holds a ton of untapped potential that can benefit everyone inside and outside of the prison system if given the chance.
Society should want this. Cultivating the talent and potential of people in prison makes society safer. Each year, hundreds of thousands of people come home. They have a deep appreciation for what they have lost or been denied for a long time. This should not be diminished.
I believe that one day, people in prison will be seen as valuable. That is why I still go to sleep with a hope that tomorrow will be better.