Imagine living in a half-bathroom. The toilet sits 2 feet away from the bunk bed you share with another man. Now add the din of up to 100 people talking and the constant bellowing of a corrections officer’s announcements over a PA system. And remember if you have an issue with someone — or something — you can’t escape it. There is no going for a drive or to the park to cool off. If you’re lucky, you might get to walk a couple laps on the recreation yard, but eventually you’ll have to deal with it. 

It’s enough to push anyone to their limit.

Some incarcerated people cope with this environment better than others. For me, keeping a daily routine, attending groups like Criminals and Gangmembers Anonymous, pursuing higher education, practicing meditation and working out all help alleviate the madness. 

But maintaining your composure in prison is one thing. Finding peace is something else. 

I interviewed men incarcerated at California’s Centilena State Prison about the ways they chase that elusive ideal. I found that while peace may be rare in prison, my peers prove it’s possible to achieve.  

Gabriel Madrigal said peace was always difficult to find, even in the free world. Incarcerated since 2012, Madrigal has found purpose in life through the support of his family and studying religious material. 

“Finding understanding and purpose in life was my way of finding peace,” Madrigal said. “Every day is a learning experience and my peace comes from within.”

David Medina has found peace through physical movement, he said. The connection between fitness and mental health is well established. Exercise helps many people cope with stressors. Over his 25 years of incarceration, Medina has consistently read and worked out. These activities helped him maintain mental and physical balance, but he still felt he was missing something. Then he started practicing hatha yoga, a slower style of yoga focused on holding postures and breathwork. 

“Eventually my body will break down, and my brain will fail. Cultivating my spiritual awareness puts life into perspective,” Medina said.

Opening up to the idea of spiritual balance helped Medina gain inner peace. He now finds the things he is able to do more precious and fulfilling, granting him not just peace, but freedom.  

For some people, finding peace means completely changing the way they think about the world. Christopher Flores said he was depressed and pessimistic when he first came to prison 12 years ago. Now, Flores has found peace through positive self-talk and by reciting a daily gratitude list.

“Now I feel so good about myself,” he said.

For those serving life sentences, the reality of life inside rules out truly finding peace. Juan Vigil said that as a lifer, complete peace is impossible. But he has gone through states of acceptance. 

“It is about getting to a level of understanding so that I can obtain a level of peace that is viable,” he said. “I find peace in hope and my faith in God.” 

As for myself, I realized that the only time I really felt at peace was very early in the morning when most people were asleep. It was the only time the prison was quiet. I would usually drink a cup of coffee and read a book.

I have found a way to maintain that peace through meditation. I have made it part of my daily routine — in the morning when I wake up and right before I go to sleep. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed or stressed out during the day, I’ll use the same breathing techniques to ground myself. It has worked for me.

We cannot control our surroundings, but we can control how we respond to them. It doesn’t happen overnight, but through consistency and belief in ourselves, many of us can find structure and harmony in our lives.

Four years of reciting things he’s grateful for has rewired his brain, Flores said.

“Ever since I started being grateful, I have accomplished so many things,” Flores said. “I really believe I am the happiest man in prison.”