Prison strips you of any sense of individuality. Take a look in a cell and you will find gray bunk beds, gray footlockers, gray end tables, gray walls. Prisoners in the state of Missouri are issued gray pants and gray shirts, white underwear, white socks and white towels.
Despite the forces that impose sameness, many have found ways to keep their individuality alive. Preserving our individuality is how we maintain our humanity.
Fashion and other personal style choices
For me, I wear my makeup proudly and style my hair beautifully. I never wear the same outfit two days in a row, and I paint my shoelaces pink.
One of the most notable ways that incarcerated folks show their individuality is by the care they take in styling their clothes to make up for no longer being able to buy clothing from stores. We can order items sold in the prison commissary, but that’s basic cotton clothes, sometimes fleece and khaki or navy-colored items, and basic white tennis shoes.
I look around the prison yard, and I see one person wearing khaki shorts with a freshly-ironed polo shirt and new tennis shoes. There’s a strut in his walk. Another person is wearing shorts and a T-shirt, a gray baseball hat and shoes that appear freshly cleaned. Even in 100-degree heat, there are a couple of men who walk the yard in sweatpants and freshly shined, state-issued black boots.
Lyle Delong, who has been incarcerated for the last three years, likes to keep his shoes looking nice and clean. He often wears polo shirts and always wears a hat with a flat bill.
“I will never let this place take away who I am,” Delong said.
Devin Sowder, who has been incarcerated for the last 10 years, said his style starts with his hair. He always has it cut in a “fresh-looking fade.” Sowder also said that he adds flourishes to accentuate his fashion.
“The sleeves of my T-shirts are rolled up like James Dean wore his,” Sowder said.
It’s easy to spot those who have been incarcerated for a long time by the clothes they wear. These men were once able to buy jerseys of their favorite sports teams, flannel shirts, colorful athletic shorts and even warm winter coats. One such gentleman jogs around the gravel track sporting dark blue athletic shorts, a threadbare sleeveless T-shirt and a pair of Rawlings tennis shoes.
Shampoo on the walls — and other cell flourishes
Incarcerated folks in Missouri express their individuality through more than just clothes. Take a look in the cells here and you will see individuality shining through.
One person hangs a curtain on their window to block out the heat from the sun, as this particular prison does not have central air conditioning. Another hangs rugs on the wall to break up the bland, gray paint.
One person crocheted a blanket in blue and yellow — the colors of their favorite football team, the Los Angeles Rams. On their walls are a variety of pictures that they’ve drawn. One picture is of the St. Louis Arch, another is of the Statue of Liberty. There’s a quote on their cell door that says “Seize The Day.”
On my wall, I hung a paper transgender flag, and I draped a pink towel on my end table. There’s a maroon rug on the floor in front of my bed, and my makeup bag hangs on the wall. I pride myself on keeping my cell smelling feminine — a welcome quality in a men’s prison.
Delong has placed a maroon rug on his floor so it is carpeted, and he has hung pictures of his family.
“I rub shampoo on the wall to keep the cell smelling good,” he said.
Sowder said he likes everything in his cell to be neat and organized. He has hung pictures he’s drawn on his walls. His favorite drawing is of a phoenix rising from the ashes.
“My cell is my safe space, so it must look like it,” Sowder said.
The prison commissary sells items that make a prison cell feel more like home, such as floor rugs, colorful blankets and clear plastic lamps. Not everyone can afford them, but people still find ways to make their cell meaningful to them. One person uses paper bags to block out the heat from the sun and their state-issued towel as a cushion. A homemade calendar hangs from their wall.
The Missouri Department of Corrections may try to squash our individuality out of fear that it could lead to rule-breaking or defiance. But we know the truth. Our individuality helps us keep our spirits alive in a place designed to break us.