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Photo by Bellava G on Unsplash

I often wonder how my life ended up like this
Trying to figure out how many clues I missed
I have to watch my kids grow up through pics
Thinking about all the time I’ve lost makes me sick
I look around to see if I’m being punk’d —
Lord is this a trick?
God how did my life end up like this?
All I see is these four walls of brick
So I grab a pen and paper, and make a list
Of all the things I would love to do without becoming a risk —
To end up here again wondering how my life ended up like this.
Every time I see my kids’ pics
I hold them close to my heart and seal it with a kiss
Tears began to flow as I make a fist
Apologizing a thousand times for them having to go through this.

Laughing and crying at all of our memories
Those times I really miss
Covering my face with my hands as I reminisce
Like blowing out candles on a cake
One wish
Nothing changes and again I ask,
God, how did my life end up like this?
Keep praying, my family insists.
But no matter how much you pray,
Life always has twists.
Lord, how did my life end up like this?

Disclaimer: The views in this article are those of the author. Prison Journalism Project has verified the writer’s identity and basic facts such as the names of institutions mentioned.

Keshia Freeman is a writer incarcerated in Virginia.