I can say I’m afraid of many things, maybe too many to speak of today.
But I guess I’ll point out the most important ones that I need to say.
I’m afraid of being a disappointment to my sons and the people who matter.
I know I put myself in a hole, down deep and it’s going to be hard to climb up that ladder.
To die alone in a cell and get thrown in a hole wrapped in a sheet.
Or to die from a stroke or cancer or maybe even diabetes where they have to cut off my feet.
For my mom to pass away while I’m stuck in jail.
Or for one of my sons to come to jail and I’ll know how much I’ve failed.
I’ve already lost my Dad as well as a few other family members while being here.
And if I go before my Mom she will be broken and never stop crying a single tear.
To never get married and have another child.
Or to be so in love that all you do is stare at the clouds.
For one of my sons to get shot in the streets because of my past.
Or I didn’t have enough time and this breath I take is my last.
Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under a Creative Commons license.
Republish this article
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Here are our ground rules:
- You must credit Prison Journalism Project. In the byline, we prefer “[Author Name], Prison Journalism Project.” At the top of the text of your story, please include a line that says: “This story was originally published by Prison Journalism Project” and include a link to the article.
- No republishing of photographs, illustrations or graphics without specific permission. Please contact inquiries@prisonjournalismproject.org.
- No editing the content, including the headline, except to reflect changes in time, location and editorial style. For example, changing, “today” to “last week,” or San Quentin to San Quentin, California. You can also make minor revisions for style or headline size, and you can trim stories for space. You must also retain all original hyperlinks, including links to the Prison Journalism Project newsletters.
- No translation of our stories into another language without specific permission. Please contact inquiries@prisonjournalismproject.org.
- No selling ads against our stories, but you can publish it on a page with ads that you’ve already sold.
- No reselling or syndicating our stories, including on platforms or apps like Apple News or Google News. You also can’t republish our work automatically or all at once. Please select them individually.
- No scraping our website or using our stories to populate websites designed to improve search rankings or gain revenue from network-based advertisements.
- Any site our stories appear on must have a prominent and effective way to contact you.
- If we send you a request to remove our story, you must do so immediately.
- If you share republished stories on social media, please tag Prison Journalism Project. We have official accounts on Twitter (@prisonjourn), Facebook (@prisonjournalism), Instagram (@prisonjournalism) and Linked In.
- Let us know when you share the story. Send us a note, so we can keep track.
Something I’m Afraid Of
